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TurnaboutMonday, March 1, 2010
Luke 6:36-38 Nevertheless, Jesus' teaching draws me up out of my old selfish self. God makes the first move and is merciful. He does not judge me or condemn me. And then, because I know this about God, I can always after that be the first to give. I do not have to wait for my partner, my friend, my enemy or my competitor to give first. I don't have to wait for my parent or my child to be the first to change. I can. I think I can. I think I can. "I believe," I say to God my Father. "Help my unbelief." I know my thoughts and I know how much I DON'T go first. I can minimize my mistakes and maximize my obedience; that's the churchy thing to do. I can sound more righteous than I have a right to sound, and too often I take myself seriously when I do that. Whoa! Fear, even if it makes me sour and small, is such a strong motivator. I'm motivated to fake it and then hold on, avoid risk, look the other way, be "realistic". Ugh ... I hate doing this, and then I do it again. I guess I don't hate it enough. Yesterday I watched a minor road rage-r hammer down on his horn for several seconds after a car turned right on red a little too late and made him (I just figure it was a guy) slow down. He stopped eventually and followed the first car down the street. I hoped that he felt bad, but I bet he didn't. I think he felt self-righteous. And I did too, of course, even as I judged him for judging the other guy. There are so many levels to this judgment thing! Jesus is the best at hating the sin while loving the sinner. Which would be me. Jesus loves me, this I know. But boy does he hate my sin. And because he hates it, I can too. (My sin, not somebody else's.) And because he loves me, I get some strength to change. Stop judging and accept. Stop condemning and encourage. Enough with the grudges and bitterness. Find my way to giving and receiving forgiveness. Pressed down, shaken together, running over. Lord, as you encourage me, let me pass it on. And let me also remember it in the darkness, in the small morning hours when I wake up and wonder who I am. Your encouragement is more real than the shadows and brighter than any other light in all my life. You carry me from day to day and person to person and place to place. You are God, and you have made me and love me. For all this and so much more, thank you. |