Christian Counseling Service -- Devotions

I know, you know, Joe and Harry know

Wednesday, December 6, 2000

Matthew 10:21
At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure."

Twenty years ago, Joe and Harry unveiled a simple "knowledge window" at a 3M sales conference. In four panes, it covered how a fact could be known in a relationship between two people:

Twenty years ago, Joe and Harry unveiled a simple "knowledge window" at a 3M sales conference. In four panes, it covered how a fact could be known in a relationship between two people:

I know, you know
("The family jewels!") I know, you don't know
(What I'm hiding from you)

I don't know, you know
(My blind spots) I don't know, you don't know
("Come, Holy Spirit!)

This was wise, so it received an esoteric name. It was called the "Johari Window." While Joe and Harry went on with their lives, their window lived happily ever after.

The goal in a relationship is to increase what "I know and you know." Sharing facts, feelings, opinions is much of what gives two people a sense of intimacy.

If you see something that is embarrassing or painful to your friend, and he doesn't see it at all, when do you tell him what you see? The other day I pulled a fabric softener sheet out of my pantleg during a meeting with my boss. We both laughed. But nobody told me about it until I saw it myself. What if I wear orange and blue Illini paint to the basketball game on Saturday night and forget to clean it off before I go to church on Sunday morning? Will anybody tell me, or will I just feel lots of secret glares? It depends on our intimacy, how much I'm open to learning something I don't know from a particular person at a particular time.

Nobody knew (knows) the Father Jesus knew. They were intimate. They loved each other. They trusted each other. Jesus said they were "one." Jesus talked much more openly about his Father to the disciples than to the Pharisees. The religious leaders of the day seemed to already know all the answers. Or thought they did. When Jesus spoke, they threw his words back in disagreement. His "family jewels" were of no value to them. And Jesus left them in their blindness.

I imagine how frustrated, how sad, how disappointed he felt when he couldn't share what he knew. But I admire the way he chose his words, often using word pictures that opened otherwise closed minds. I want to learn his kind of patience, waiting for teachable moments when what I might know can heal rather than hurt someone, open them rather than close them further. I appreciate it when my friend has that patience with me.

In God's world, the world of civility and waiting on one another, those moments always come. Although too often my experience speaks otherwise, I can learn from Jesus, and continue to wait for them in expectation rather than despair.

Lord, touch me with patience when I see more clearly than my brother, and give me humility and openness when he sees more clearly than me. Thank you.

Devotions Archive

I know, you know, Joe and Harry know

Wednesday, December 6, 2000