Christian Counseling Service -- Devotions

The power of three

Friday, December 30, 2005

Colossians 3:12-14
Christ is all, and is in all.

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.

And be thankful.

The article begins, "Walter and Thanne do a lot of forgiving, but not nearly as much as they used to." http://www.christianitytoday.com/mp/6m3/6m3040.html)

In this interview Walter and Thanne Wangerin describe how God has made them more compassionate, kind, humble, gentle and patient with each other. Over their now nearly forty years of marriage they have counted on God's grace and learned to extend it freely to each other.

Walter's book As for Me and My House is one of my favorite marriage manuals. The section on forgiveness is second to none. One of his main points is that I can't forgive my wife until I see clearly that I am as much a sinner as she is. I've done all the same crappy things, in my own stupid sinful ways ... and only out of that humility does forgiveness flow freely.

Thanne: I didn't forgive Walt because he had changed or because our problems had been solved. Forgiveness had to come before the change. People get it backwards, thinking "I'll forgive as I see that the person is really sorry and is really changing." But the forgiveness is the beginning of healing.

Walter: That's a crucial truth. Also, Thanne wasn't forgiving me just to save our marriage or because it would be the best thing for our family. It wasn't a pragmatic decision. Grace offers forgiveness as a pure gift. That's when forgiveness becomes marriage's lifeblood. Forgiving doesn't remove all the hurt feelings. It's not a love potion. Fears and anger can remain, but something new-God's intrusion of grace-comes in to energize your relationship.

God comes to call us his sons and daughters. As I accept this position (oh so gradually, year by year), I give up the heavy, wrong responsibility of getting it right every time and of holding Margaret to the fire of my own self-righteousness. We don't need to keep trying to be god to each other when He is already here.

As Solomon said, "A cord of three strands is not easily broken." When God joins a marriage, it is a marriage indeed.

I'm on my knees, Lord. It's there you show me how to be a man. Thank you.

Devotions Archive

The power of three

Friday, December 30, 2005