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Let it be

Friday, December 10, 2004

Isaiah 41:13-14
For I am the Lord, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,
"Do not fear;
I will help you.
Do not be afraid."


Dennis Lehane, author of Mystic River, wrote another book he called Darkness, Take My Hand. In the dark inner world of my yesterday and tomorrow, washed up between known and unknown horrors of lost love, broken promises, and dreams unrealized, I am tempted.

Mental health requires that I take someone's hand. Daily walking close to me, Jesus waits patiently. Mostly I walk fast and furious in shadowy confusion, looking for clarity with my own eyes, reaching out to fill my own hands, turning my mind upside down to understand ... what? I hold only the hand of darkness, only my own hand left in right, only alone I am, calling sometimes out for help but then turning away, turning away again, turning away.

I am miles from God. Thousands of miles. Closed up so long I know nothing of his presence, with the tiny voice I summon swallowed up in stifling air. Oh, alone.

I have left Jesus, but Jesus has not left me.

I can stretch out my hand. Tentative, afraid I will feel nothing, still I can. Wresting one hand from the other's grip, atrophied muscles shivering, I can reach out. Eyes closed tight, braced to be broken once again, I can. No more crying now ...

And in my hour of darkness, he is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom ...

Jesus, take my hand.

Just a closer walk with thee,<



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