Christian Counseling Service -- Devotions

Dipping oneself toward the light

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

From John 20
Mary Magdalene turned around and saw Jesus, but did not know it was Jesus. He said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?" She thought he was the gardener and said to him, "Sir, if you carried him away, tell me where you laid him, and I will take him." Jesus said to her, "Mary."

And in this instant, Mary knew. She threw aside her well-laid plans, and saw Jesus. In her seeing, she also saw herself more deeply than before. Jesus' resurrection affected her life in that living moment, with scents and promises of more to come.

Mary Oliver defines prayer as "dipping oneself toward the light." Mary Magdalene dipped. Full of compulsive plans to finish the work of death, she couldn't see Jesus alive. But Jesus knew her, and when he said her name, she awakened to him.

Mary, Peter, and Thomas all saw Jesus this week. Each responded differently to his death and now his resurrection. Sr. Suzanne Zuercher's book, Enneagram Spirituality: From Compulsion to Contemplation, considers them.

The enneagram helps me identify my most basic need, so I can notice more quickly when I take over for God. The enneagram names nine basic needs, sometimes grouped into threes: the heart triad of 2/3/4s, the head triad of 5/6/7s, and the gut triad of 8/9/1s.

Magdalene lived out of the 2/3/4 triad, characterized by helping kindness, efficient action, and artistry. Sr. Suzanne says, "she had adapted to others' desires throughout her lifetime, but Jesus offered her companionship that contributed to a self-respect she had never known before."

In her grief, Mary was compelled to do something. "That intense anxiety into which 2/3/4s translate other feelings keeps them ever on the move. There is no better way, they think, to show love than by care, attention and service. This is true especially when they suspect that the emotional richness observed in other people is somehow not theirs to give."

Then Mary saw Jesus. Still, at first she "perpetuated her limited view of reality rather than let in unimaginable mystery. Lost in her anxious scripts and scenarios, Magdalene abandoned herself to the stimulus/response of compulsive activity. Even before she was aware of the present, Mary was on to the future.

"Jesus responded to this situation in a way that is helpful to 2/3/4 people. He called Magdalene's name: 'Mary!'" She stopped. Her eyes were opened. "Reflection broke her driven, anxious plunge into decision and behavior. Jesus' word recalled her to herself, and she then was able to recognize his voice and his person standing before her in the here and now.

"She was now beyond compulsively joining herself with others, something she had always thought was the essence of relationships. Life essentially had been other people for Magdalene, as for all 2/3/4s. Jesus taught her how she was truly to be with others. She must now witness to the presence of Life itself in the world. She knew the spirit of Jesus because she knew her own spirit."

Sr. Suzanne says this is easier to describe than to accomplish. How true. As always, it is God who does the work, as he calls me by my name.

Lord I come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. But the voice I hear is not my own, it's yours, as I hear you call my name. When you lift me up, let me see how much I'm changed just by hearing you call me out with so much love.

Devotions Archive

Dipping oneself toward the light

Tuesday, April 18, 2017