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Consolation and desolationThursday, February 25, 2016
Jeremiah 17:5-6 St. Ignatius might well have been reading Jeremiah when he wrote his Spiritual Exercises, which help us with what Ignatius calls "discernment of spirits." Is the voice I hear from God or from the devil? Is its "strength in flesh" or does it "stretch out its roots to the stream" of living water? Feeling good now doesn't mean I'll feel good later, just as feeling bad now doesn't mean I'll feel bad later. What will last? What is most true? Ignatius suggested we look at the beginning, middle, and end of either what we imagine will happen or what has already happened. If all three are "inclined to all good it is a sign of the good Angel." But if we glimpse the "tail of the snake" in any of the three, it "proceeds from the evil spirit, enemy of our profit and eternal salvation." I say I do this but I don't. I don't take the time it needs. Sit still and consider the beginning, middle and end, as best I can. Am I consoled or left desolate? This is very wise counsel. A famous description of prayer comes from St. John Vianney: "I just look at God, and God looks at me." But it can be more difficult ... My false self looks at me. I look at God. God looks back at me. My true self looks at my false self and says, "Shut up, fool!" No, actually that would probably not happen. Love your enemies, even when they are you. Right? My true self looks at my false self and says, "Don't look at me. Look up. There's God. Look at God." Dallas Willard set a high bar for discipleship when he said in The Divine Conspiracy, " The first objective in discipleship is to bring apprentices to the point where they are quite certain that there is no catch, no limit, to the goodness of God's intentions or his power to carry them out." I can't think my way to this kind of certainty. But I can keep looking up, and God will keep looking down. I think this is a fine way to spend my time here on earth. You watch me, Lord. The way of the wicked vanishes, but as I hope in the Lord I yield my fruit in due season. My leaves don't fade, Lord. You ask me to delight in the law of the Lord and meditate on it day and night. Will you be patient with me, will you show me how to be still and know that you are God? This is what I want, Lord Jesus, this is what I seek. |