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The sin of being JudasWednesday, April 11, 2001
Matthew 26:14-25 Jesus speaks also to Peter. He too will turn away from Jesus, pretend he doesn't know him. He will do so in fear, in terror for his own safety, his own life. The waving of the palms in praise will so very quickly turn to ridicule and jeering and lifting of fists. And every one of the disciples in the tiny room with Jesus wondered if he was the betrayer. Is it me? Is it me? Is it me? Their uncertainty and insecurity is palpable. And their turning away from Jesus, one way or another, is certain. So is mine. That being the case, I am left with a different choice, less exalting ... will I refuse to accept forgiveness, like Judas, or let God give me that gift, like Peter and the others? Judas and Peter were perhaps the most stubborn of Jesus' disciples, the most sure of themselves. Having a lot to give, it was not easy for either of them to receive. What was at first a strength became a weakness. I run the same risk, of overestimating my ability to follow in God's steps, my strength. It is a far, far better thing to recognize my weakness, to grow more able to see my sin, to confess, to repent, to turn around, and most of all to receive. Forgiveness. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139)
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