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Shadows dispelling, with joy I am tellingSaturday, February 21, 2015
1 Peter 3:21 Before her quiet words, the callouses on my conscience were thickening daily. Who cared? Who was hurt? What I was doing wasn't "so bad." And besides that, I felt invincible. When I brought home my stuff, it was all the more a treasure because I'd gotten away with something. This feeling became an intoxication. I needed more. I was clearly on the road to some kind of catastrophe. My sin wasn't hurting anymore; my sin didn't cause me pain or guilt; my sin just didn't feel like sin, at least not how I thought sin was supposed to feel. This is such an ugly memory - no fun dredging it out of the mud. But up it came when I read this verse ... before I remembered the joy of God's salvation. David felt this agonizing pain when Nathan showed him God's knowledge of his adultery with Bathsheba. I felt it when the nice lady in the bookstore looked me in the eye and asked me to stop stealing. Neither that David nor this David did this on his own. Peter says that my appeal for a clear conscience will be heard because of Jesus' resurrection. I don't fix these things. How can my conscience soften again and regain its sensitivity? Through the resurrection of Jesus. High moral ground is characteristic of every religion. But the "distinctive" of Christianity is Jesus' resurrection. With that intervention, God gave herself up for us. Not just for us to appeal to. No! Much more important to me, God appeals directly to me, softens my resistance, and promises me he will never stop. In this life my conscience can, and will, and does ... sear. Whatever good juices were inside are locked there, and my life will become dry and withered. And this is not where the story ends. No, hallelujah, no it's not. Heaven came down, and glory fills my soul. Prepare me, Lord, to give an answer to those who ask about the hope I have. Teach me the joy of gentleness and respect, the power of sparkling dialogue, and the freedom from all that craving for control. You have made me free. And I am free indeed. |
Way back then I was a shoplifter. I took books, and other things. One day a nice lady in the bookstore said she had been watching me and asked me to stop. She didn't turn me in to the police. I was very ashamed. And I did stop. For good.