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Riding on the windFriday, April 6, 2001
John 10:31-42 The good old boys don't like this at all. They hood their eyes, whisper to each other behind their sleeves, turn away. John is no longer one of them, and they are angry. Anger is accompanied by the hormone, adrenalin, which gives my body a push of energy, a rush of strength. But anger is a secondary emotion; it's always the second emotion that I feel. The first thing that comes is hurt, disappointment or fear. These are "weak" feelings; that is, they leave my body feeling empty, fluttery, watery, boneless ... weak. Yuck. No wonder most of us find anger easier to deal with. Topping off the "primary" feeling with a little anger, I get my strength back. Miracles are scary. Maybe when they happen to me they're not so bad, because I'm healed or blessed in a tangible way. But when they happen to other people and I'm the onlooker, I can feel like my world is coming apart. Actually, it's just my world view, but that boneless flutter of fear gives me the sense that it's really me that's losing it. Got to do something to get it back together. Turn away. Say no. Get angry.
The only way to enjoy a roller coaster ride is to let go (mostly) with my mind and my body. Relax my muscles, do some screaming, close my eyes sometimes, let the wind rushing by and the dizziness become my world for a moment. If meeting Jesus is not like riding a roller coaster, then I'm not really meeting Jesus. If in going out to meet Jesus I don't sometimes encounter supernatural power, then I haven't left home at all. It's scary to realize that I'm not in charge. It's also liberating and true. It's the best thing that can ever happen. Oh boy, Lord, we're in line for the roller coaster. Hold my hand, tell me what to do, change me mold me shape me, HELP me!!! Thanks for the smile, the encouragement, the confidence you have in yourself. You've been here before...I'm going with you. |