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Come closer, let me love youTuesday, April 1, 2014
Ezekiel 47:1 But I did. There were planes to catch and bills to pay. My new job's a hassle and kids have the flu. But it was sure nice talking to you, God. I'll be home, I don't know when, but we'll get together then, God. You know we'll get together then. 2014's Lent has reached its halfway point. In these short weeks I've been brought back often to the temple entrance. Sometimes dragged, kicking and screaming. Sometimes with great willingness, because I want to be there. God always wants me there. The more the merrier, and we all get to know that in the center of our souls. God craves our company. God sings songs to draw us in, and presents the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets and butterflies in spring. Come, my daughter, come, my son. Let me love you. The tyranny of the urgent knows no bounds. It urges me to swallow its truth and then becomes an incubus in my heart. It merges with me with such superficial permission, or so it seems. And suddenly I'm obsessed with comfort and security and afraid to take the smallest risk. Then my children suffer, my parents suffer, my partner suffers, and God ... suffers. I have been changed, and behold, it is not good. God brings me back to the entrance of his temple. Not always at night, but often at night. Not always in sight, but unmistakable nevertheless. To say no I have to turn away. There is nothing better to see, but I can still turn away. What did Moses say when he saw the burning bush? That's what I want to say too. "I must turn aside now and see this marvelous sight. I must go closer, and see."
In repentance and ashes I come, Lord, and when you wash me, I am clean. I say I want you but then I turn away. You say you want me and pursue me to the ends of the earth. I will dwell in your house forever, because you bring me there and wait for me when I leave and once again welcome me home.
Harry Chapin's "Cat's in the Cradle": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OqwKfgLaeA |
And why, pray tell, would I leave?