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Mea culpa

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

From Isaiah 1
Make justice your aim: redress the wronged, hear the orphan's plea, defend the widow. Come now, let us set things right, says the Lord.

There is blood on our hands. But though your sins be like scarlet, they can become as white as snow.

There is blood on our hands. Though they be crimson red, they will become white as wool.

I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do.

Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault. And we strike our breasts in the sign of repentance.

O Lord, make haste to help us.

In these days, in these awful days a lady in Scotland said last week on TV, "When I hear of a shooting in America, my first thought is, 'Another one!' And my second thought is, 'How ridiculous.' And I have no right to those thoughts, but only to compassion. There are more children, more men, more women, dead and left for dead, grieving on for the rest of their lives."

She owns a tea shop in Dunblane, thirty minutes north of Glasgow. Her daughter, who works with her, was at school in 1996 when sixteen of her classmates were shot and killed. Since then there have been no school shootings in the UK. In Scotland, in 2017 two people were killed by gunfire.

There are political reasons for this, not moral ones. Those of us in the USA are no less "moral" than the Scottish. In Japan less than 10 people die by gunfire each year. We are no less moral than the Japanese. In the USA, in 2017, 15,500 people were killed by guns.

Are these misleading statistics? I don't know. Isaiah might say, "Well, there are more orphans and widows than ever, so help them." Always, after the Fact comes the Consequence. And regardless of the reasons for the Fact, there is plenty to do afterward. Hence the Red Cross and EMTs, hence FEMA, hence First Responders and medics and soup kitchens and church basements. Whatever has happened, we are ready to help you now.

During Lent there is an emphasis on alms-giving. On Ash Wednesday, Father Freddy Gomez talked about Mother Teresa's visit to his seminary. When she was asked about giving, she pointed out that for giving to be charity, it should hurt. Whether I give my time, my money, or my skin, it should hurt. That kind of hurt is the good kind, and I am stronger afterward, more turned toward God.

When my hurt breaks to weakness, when it deprives and despoils and desolates me, when my soul divides and I am driven to despair, when I want to either fight and die or give up and die, then I know the hurt of widow and of orphan.

God protects us from this, until he doesn't. But he never leaves and does not forsake, and he will make our scarlet white as snow.

I don't know how to pray sometimes, when there is so much pain, when I'm afraid. But I also know you are so close then, and I think that when you give to me, it hurts you. You give to me from your deepest places, risking everything. Make haste, O Lord.



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