Christian Counseling Service -- Devotions

Soldier's secret

Monday, April 1, 2013

Matthew 28:11-15
Some of the guard went into the city and told the chief priests all that had happened. They gave a large sum of money to the soldiers, telling them, "You are to say, 'His disciples came by night and stole him while we were asleep.'" The soldiers took the money and did as they were instructed.

http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/040113.cfm

I have learned to stand erect in one position for hours at a time. When I'm at attention, nothing affects my posture and my gaze. So I admire the disciplined strength I felt from Jesus. He was broken and bent, his eyes were glazed with narcotic pain, but his silent steps into Golgotha still echo in my ears.

He carried life deep into the open maw of death. When those jaws closed around him and his head fell, when we pierced his side and found blood and water, when he was lowered into the arms of his friends, profound sadness blew threw me. My lungs could barely hold their breath.

Soldiers struggle between poles of jadedness and hyper-vigilance. Watching Jesus on the cross exhausted me, and at the same time filled me up. No violence accompanied him or his companions. His complete submission rushed at me, rose up to meet our whips and thorns and spears, and triumphed over them all.

This is something I hardly dare think, let alone speak. But it's more true than anything I wear, anything I am paid, anything to which I have thus far given my allegiance. Why are these priests giving us money to lie when they know themselves they have witnessed the coming of God into their lives? They are such fools.

I too am filled with myself. I am afraid to speak of this new thing growing inside of me. But the sprout that's green and alive, is growing and not going anywhere. I carry the shield of Caesar and have always been proud. What is growing now around me? What armor, what sword, what shield?

Jesus' tomb is empty. This new thing growing inside me isn't surprised at all. Of course Jesus is not here. Of course this tomb is empty.

There were earthquakes and darkness and we felt terrible fear on Friday. Now just a few days later, I know peace like I have never known. This man of war is being watched, and the eyes on me feel like the eyes of God.

Hold my gaze, Lord, and do not let me go. This is foreign territory I have entered, and I have no maps. But it's no new land for you. I am beginning to want to follow you in.

Devotions Archive

Soldier's secret

Monday, April 1, 2013